Where do I even begin? American Assassin, directed by Michael Cuesta, opens with a scene that will undoubtedly be replayed during my next nightmare. Dylan O’Brien stars as Mitch Rapp, the survivor of a terrorist attack so horrific I don’t even want to write about it because it’s just too much.
With his life forever altered, Rapp has one thing on his mind. Revenge. He trains himself to be a lethal weapon, and learns everything he needs to know in order to get close to his enemy. Following the age old expression, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” Rapp is intent to immerse himself into a specific terrorist cell with the singular focus of making their leader pay.
What Rapp doesn’t realize is that the CIA is following his every move, hoping he will unknowingly lead them directly to enemy number one. Impressed with him, the CIA recruits him to be a part of the secret black ops group led by Michael Keaton’s character, Stan Hurley. A former Navy SEAL, Hurley’s mission is to break Rapp of the personal heartache that guides his every move. As Rapp is intent on killing “people who need to be killed,” Hurley drills into him to “never ever let it get personal” and don’t “let emotion cloud your judgement.”
Meanwhile Sanaa Lathan plays Irene Kennedy, the CIA agent who recruits Rapp to join Hurley’s team. Her performance was completely flat with little evidence of even a hint of affect, and I suspect she was absent the day they taught acting at drama school.
This movie wasn’t just bad; it was awful. It was gory to the point that several times I felt the need to bury my face in my husband Mike’s sleeve as he shielded me from the big screen. I knew going into the movie that it was going to be violent, but I was in no way prepared for the atrocities I witnessed throughout the film.
Gore aside though, the plot was ridiculous, and it was factually absurd. With no spoilers, I’ll share that there are some major scenes involving the United States Navy that are grossly inaccurate. I’ve been a Navy wife for close to twenty years, and with each mistake that appeared, I couldn’t help but look over at Mike to gauge his reaction. I lost track of the number of times he rolled his eyes and put his hand to his forehead as he shook his head in disgust. It honestly felt embarrassing realizing how much the director goofed, and if the errors were obvious to me, someone who’s never served in the military, imagine how painful they were for Mike.
Mike shared, “There was so much to hate about this movie, and it bothers me to say that because I love Michael Keaton. It’s obviously not his fault that the plot downright sucked. It was insulting on so many levels. It’s a shotgun blast of plot lines that never mesh. Is it a spy film, a horror movie, a doomsday tale, a military thriller, or just the worst of each combined?”
Mike isn’t squeamish like I am, but even he was bothered by some of the torture scenes. “It seemed gory just for gory’s sake, and I cringed a couple of times as I thought, ‘What the hell am I watching?’ So many of the violent scenes were unnecessarily over the top, and I felt like I saw things I can’t unsee.”
When I review movies, I feel like it’s my duty to point out at least one positive aspect of each film, but even after a glass of wine to soothe my nerves, I’m still at a loss. If you have to choose between going to see American Assassin or going around Coronado to pick up stray dog poop, do yourself a favor, and grab some waste bags. At least then you’ll feel good about yourself, and you’ll get some fresh, albeit slightly stinky, air. In the meanwhile, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to pour myself a second glass of wine as I try to purge the images of American Assassin from my brain.
And, not to beat a dead horse, but I even found it insulting that there’s a picture of the Eiffel Tower in the movie poster. There are zero scenes in the movie that take place in Paris, let alone France!
Movie times: click here
Genre: Action, Thriller
Director: Michael Cuesta
Actors: Dylan O’Brien, Michael Keaton, Sanaa Lathan
Running Time: 1 hour 51 minutes
Rating: Rated R for strong violence throughout, some torture, language and brief nudity
