When Hattie came to Coronado to visit her friend of almost a decade, and former roommate, Erin, it was just like any other time they had spent together. Two women were friends. They had lived together in Chula Vista. Hattie is African American. Erin is Caucasian. The subject of race had never come up nor been discussed. Until after Hattie’s visit to Coronado.
Erin shared her friend’s experience on a Coronado community facebook group. I reached out to ask if her friend would agree to speak with me. Hattie was gracious enough to allow me the opportunity to ask questions and listen to the answers so that I am able to share them with our community.
During an afternoon earlier this month, ironically during Black History Month, after running around all day together, Erin went to work and Hattie decided to go out for some dinner alone. Hattie was dropped of at the Hotel del Coronado where she sat, relaxed and enjoyed her favorite lobster bisque. After dinner, she walked up and down Orange where she recalled everyone being very kind including the man on the bicycle who rode up next to her as she waited to cross the street, greeting her with a friendly hello. She walked to Vons to grab a few items which turned into a couple bags. Her arms were loaded. She decided to take a different route back to the house. She walked down 10th Street turning left on E and encountered a group of teens at Encino Lane and heard a boy’s voice say “ni**er.” Hattie remained silent, walking closer. She noticed one of the girls on a bike seemed to be hiding her face. She didn’t know if it was because she was ashamed, but she did know that no one spoke up in her defense. And she did know she heard the word again as she rounded the corner. Remaining silent.
This is where I heard the most painful and profound statement ever made to me by a person with more pigmentation than me, she said: “Chris, I am 63 years old and I have never been called a ‘ni**er’ before.” To learn that it happened in Coronado by one of our children is heartbreaking.
The thoughts which ran through her mind as she returned to her friend’s home, shaken and in disbelief, were things like, “these kids had helmets on, they do what their mothers tell them to do” (not knowing this is a law here); “do they even understand how when they say something like this how it hurts?” Hattie felt hurt, wounded and sad.
“When is this going to stop, this ridiculousness, when does it stop?”
The Facebook post, which initiated the conversation amongst community members, was filled with over 150 comments ranging from anger to support and 368 emojis with 2/3 indicating sadness and anger. There were comments blaming the parents and suggesting this is behavior learned in the home. Comments indicating this is not the first time that this kind of behavior has been experienced by visitors and by children of color who live here. Much to the surprise of some of the commenters, racist behavior is alive and well among some in Coronado. There was a comment or two reminding everyone that this happens everywhere and we shouldn’t be surprised it’s happening here. That is a true statement. And much to my surprise, there were two heart emojis. Who and why would anyone ‘love’ this outrageous display of hatred? And especially when one of those hearts was from an African American woman. I reached out to her and asked why she would choose a heart on that post, her response: “I chose the heart because it was refreshing to see a white woman speak out to her peers. It was a good discussion to have and the most powerful way to address racism as it is in this day and age happens to be confronting it head-on. It would have been easy and comfortable for her to sweep it under the rug yet she was brave enough to bring it to a public forum. I loved her empathy, dignity, and grace despite how sad the situation is. Sadly, I’ve grown accustomed to these stories and even been called that word before I turned ten years old. I always felt silenced when I would try to speak about it. We are labeled as angry or that we are just making matters worse when we point things out. I thank everyone on the thread who said something that took a stance against racism. It means the world.”
So as Hattie asked, “what are we going to do about it?” We, as Coronadans, as parents, as a community, what are we going to do about it? I asked her what she thought would be a good place for us to begin. She suggested that we listen. We listen to our brothers and sisters with more pigmentation. We have conversations with our children who are growing up in a place where they are insulated from much diversity. “There is nothing different about us except for our skin color, the amount of pigmentation we each have.” We have “the talk” with our children, over and over again. Not that “talk” but the talk about “how would it feel?” The kindness, empathy and compassion talk. We model that behavior and we take appropriate action when we hear or see inappropriate behavior. We teach our children to stand up and speak up for people who are afraid their voice won’t be heard or are afraid of the potential consequences when they are the lone person in an alley.
This unthinkable experience of a visitor to our community is sadly not where the racial slurs and racially targeted bullying ends or begins. It is also in our schools, on our athletic fields, at our parks. It’s time we start having the hard conversations for the sake of humanity.
In speaking with Lori Corbin of Coronado Police Department, she spoke to their Records Division who reports UCR crimes, which includes Hate Crime each month to the Federal government. Going back to January 2017, they have no hate crimes filed during that 14 1/2 month period. A hate crime defined by the FBI “A hate crime is a traditional offense like murder, arson, or vandalism with an added element of bias. For the purposes of collecting statistics, the FBI has defined a hate crime as a “criminal offense against a person or property motivated in whole or in part by an offender’s bias against a race, religion, disability, sexual orientation, ethnicity, gender, or gender identity.” Hate itself is not a crime—and the FBI is mindful of protecting freedom of speech and other civil liberties.” Words may not constitute a hate crime but that doesn’t make the behavior acceptable just because it’s not against the law.
