We, the Coronado Scribes, consist of both professional and amateur writers. We have in common a desire to learn, by sharing our efforts and listening to other writers. We hold pressure-less sessions every Wednesday, at the Coronado Library conference room, starting at 1:30. Often we have guests who wish to just listen. They are welcome, and so are you. Each week on eCoronado, we feature a different piece of prose or poetry produced by one of our writers. Please feel free to comment or ask questions.
The 139th Annual Dog Idiom and Slang Show
Michael Lavin 3/18/15
The panel nominated “Top Dog” to be the judge
Charged to select perfection from this odd collection.
Off she headed with her jargon decoder
Searching for exceptional idioms was the top of her order.
Judged on how to refrain,
Oh, what a pain.
Smiles overshadowing my weary eyes,
Please just let this sleeping dog lie.
Look fun- loving and start you swagger.
Move that tail from side to side with no lager.
Appear secondary, controlling the whole
Tail wagging this dog would be your goal.
Here comes the expert, look your best.
You got drunk last night at that cursed fest.
You need a remedy to lift your hangover fog.
So get ready to bite the hair of the dog.
“Top Dog” nears, get rid of that frown.
Make them think you are a clown.
Look eager to please to make the grade;
Hot Diggity Dog, what a charade
Quick, here comes the judge, find a book.
Fold down the corner of this gobbledygook.
Enable the reader to return
By using your Dog Ears to discern.
I am full of life with so much endurance.
My charge is to pursue a task with no assurance.
I am off hunting for prey, jam-packed with glee,
Always remembering to bark up the wrong tree.
I repeat my story maybe four of five times
To anyone who can spare the time.
Irrelevant, absurd meant to bore,
My shaggy-dog stories, always abhorred.
I am eager to take a big bite out of that Shaggy crossbreed.
Those boring stories are making me mean.
I have to control of my beastly demeanor.
Keep your cool, junkyard dog, go put on that rusty restrainer.
This contest is suddenly getting cold.
Some panic as they search for coal.
Knowing silk quilts were out of sight.
It looks it going to be a three dog’s night.
Just you wait like before
Even the meekest come to the fore
Most of you never listen to what I say but
Every dog has its day.
The whistle blew as the owners grabbed our tethers.
We marched around the room all together.
And just as fast as we were able,
The gnarly judge placed each on the table.
The magistrate made her decision and to no one’s surprise,
That same, dang dog, won last year’s prize.
So graceful, slender, svelte and bright,
“Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs” (won) again tonight.
