“I think I’m going to get prosecco,” my friend Heather announced.
I looked up from my menu, surprised.
It was 11 o’clock in the morning, on a Thursday, and we had exactly 45 more minutes away from our kids. Well, most of our kids. Heather’s newborn son was sleeping in his stroller next to us.
“Prosecco?! I was thinking of getting some big chocolate dessert, but you put me to shame!”
Heather laughed, and when the waiter came over to our table, we ordered two glasses of prosecco. And a ricotta and hazelnut tart, which was about twice as large and twice as wonderful as I’d anticipated.
Heather was, like most of my friends in Coronado, a fairly new friend. I met her at church one morning when she started crying because she was so overwhelmed with motherhood, pregnancy, and military life. Her honesty and vulnerability amazed me. I admired her ability to laugh at the situation, share her heart, and ask for help all at the same time. I wanted to be her friend.
When I moved to Coronado last August, I wasn’t sure what friendships would be like here. We had moved from a small military base in Sicily, and we were excited about living in a larger community.
We landed in Coronado at the end of the summer, just in the time for the last Concert in the Park, the tail end of the tourist season, the burst of energy as the school year swung into session. It was a beautiful time to come to Coronado. I spent a lot of time at Spreckels Park, striking up conversations and figuring out where all the moms of preschoolers hang out.
After eight months of making some very good friends, I have a few theories as to why Coronado is an easy place to get connected and build friendships. Here are my thoughts:
1) The military. Locals have told me that military folks can be bittersweet friends because they come in and they’re so nice and friendly and then, to quote a local, “they break our hearts when they have to leave!” I think those military folks are part of what make Coronado so welcoming. They know their time is limited and they know what it’s like to be the newbie in town. When you get a playground (for instance) partially populated by friendly, outgoing military moms who are looking to become good friends quickly, without a lot of reservations, who are open and cheerful and inclusive – well, they nurture a whole culture, I think, of moms being friendly, inclusive, and conversational. And that’s true in other places in Coronado too.
2) The weather. It’s a cliché, I know. But I have lived in Boston, and I know what it’s like to make beach-going friends in August and then sort of lose touch with everyone as soon as the snow hits the ground in November. January to April can be very lonely in Boston! But January isn’t that much different from July in Coronado. In fact in some ways January is more wonderful in Coronado because everyone you meet around town is more likely to be a local and, therefore, a potential friend.
3) Everyone is where they want to be. You run into people in most other parts of the country – say, D.C., where I’m from – and they will tell you that they are here for such and such amount of time because of their job, or their education, or because family is here. But in Coronado, everyone has worked pretty hard to live here, to belong here, even the longtime locals. Everyone feels profoundly blessed to have a house or an apartment to call their own. Except perhaps the graduating high school class, no one is itching to get out of Coronado. Even the military folks – who really are here for work – are almost uniformly grateful to spend six months or six years on this beautiful island. A lot of happy residents make a lot of good friends, eager to enjoy their island and make it a better place.
Despite all these wonderful things about Coronado, though, it was my friend Heather’s honesty and vulnerability that drew me into a deeper friendship. Even though sunny, welcoming people can make good friends, true friends are more than sunny and welcoming. The best friends are also human, and real, and they let you know that they need you and that they don’t have it all figured out. Heather did that when she asked for help the day that I met her.
The truth is that the sun doesn’t shine every day (even in Coronado!), and I know someday I’ll need a shoulder to cry on, too. When that day comes, I want to be known. To have friends who will gather around me because they have seen my life, and they know what’s missing, and they are grateful for a chance to be there for me after – I hope – I have been there for them. True friends are what make a place a home. They are what make a life liveable, memorable, and delightful.
And if you have a town that has sunshine, happy neighbors, and true friends — well, why would you ever leave?
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“Coronado Living” is a weekly column written by one of our staff writers, Becca Garber. She blogs about choosing simplicity and practicing hospitality with her family at home in Coronado. You can read more of her writing on her blog.
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Becca Garber
Staff Writer
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